EFT marriage counseling builds trust and security in marriage.
One of the things I love about EFT (Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy) is this:
No More Mister Bad Guy!
There is no more mister bad guy in the marriage fight – just two people fighting for their relationship.
What we now know from years of hard science about love, is that fighting and withdrawing in relationships is driven by the natural need for secure bonding and related emotions, rather than pathology. But, therapists are trained to assess behaviors and feelings for such diagnoses as depression, narcissism, dependent personality, etc. so when we see these behaviors, our diagnosis flow chart clicks on.
The beauty of EFT marriage counseling is that therapists are trained to look beneath these behaviors to see the longings of the heart and to help couples access, communicate and respond to these longings.
When couples are helped to see their actions as expressions of a natural longing for closeness and intimacy, safety and security, protecting the relationship or oneself, they realize there is no longer a mister bad guy. They can now see two lovers simply wanting to connect, but too afraid to risk. They can now see two people wanting to give and receive love, but don’t know how. They can now see two people desperately longing to be real with their lover, but are stopped short by fear of rejection.
With an EFT marriage counselor, couples become more aware of these longings, they learn how to share these feelings with each other and to experience love and care in their relationship. And then the EFT magic happens: through this process, withdrawal, anger, defensiveness and criticism give way to openness, trust, joy, peace and security.
Wow. Who doesn’t truly desire that in their marriage?